What I am about to share with you is not set in stone, but rather a guideline that can help Christian singles that are looking for love make the right choice. The word of God teaches us that we be Holy as He is Holy. We keep ourselves Holy when we seek out the will of God for our lives.

Firstly, we should always pray, prayer gives us the relationship we have with God and teaches us to lean not on our own understanding. It guides us in making proper decisions, it works as a springboard. Prayer is a two-way communication with God, we say what’s in our heart and wait for God's counsel by waiting for direction. He is always directing us and leading us in the way we should go. Secondly each person has their own race to run, each person has a different aspect or has been on a different path so dependent on where they may find themselves this message may not apply to everyone, my prayer is that this message reaches the group of people that it ought to reach.

When we pray, we allow the Holy Spirit access to work on our part, what is important to understand is that not all are called to marriage, some of us are called to singleness, or a time that we would be single. We should pray for the strength to endure our single season, that we do not give into temptation and the works of the enemy. God is a loving God that cares and is concerned with all our concerns. Paul speaks and says that if you are burning with desire that you should marry, yes that may be true however I believe that it is the man’s responsibility to ask the woman’s hand in marriage, perhaps in being too traditional. But what happens when a single woman burns with desire and is not in a relationship with anyone? I believe that many go through this and perhaps will feel too embarrassed to speak of such. However, I do know that God is faithful to us and in prayer He is faithful to remove the desire away from you. Prayer is a vital tool in the whole process of singleness.

Timothy 2:22 says that we should flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

The word of God does not say that we should not pursue love, it is clear in saying that we should flee youthful passions. To flee is to run far away, the reason I believe that you should run far away is to prevent yourself from falling into temptation, defiling what is Holy and falling into sin. Flee youthful passions is not so easy when the world teaches the exact opposite, we see sex being sold through media and many other platforms, making it very difficult everything surrounding an individual can become so blurred if you don’t flee, so run far from it and protect what God wants to bless you with. Don’t compromise and settle for anything less than what God has for you. God's ways are not our ways and neither are his thoughts our thoughts, I would like to add by saying that it is very important to understand the ways of God so that you don’t flee away from everything, sometimes we flee so far that we forget to consult with God and find out His ways flee from your youthful passion yes, don’t just flee without getting the discernment that God will bring to you. His word is true, He will never give us more than we can handle, and there is no temptation that cannot be escaped, He always provides a way of escape. Let us not lack in our discernment that we find ourselves in a tight spot. Obedience is greater than sacrifice, and in all things prayer and supplication making your requests known to God. He is not sleeping, He does not slumber, He is tentative to your every spoken word whether in silence or not.

Pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. What I have taken from this text is that it is okay to pursue love, yet I see guidance and steps to assist us in the process of desiring and wanting relationship. It also says, “along those who call on the Lord from a pure place,” meaning that like-minded people or those desiring to be in relationship are the ones that a person should connect with. How do you pursue someone that is not interested in relationships or pursue someone that does not meet or have any similar wants or beliefs. I believe that when two people come together they both come together having similar desires, similar goals or have a common desire of seeking after relationship. You will know if someone fits your profile dependent on some similarities, including an unexplainable connection, called an attraction or chemistry, “Chemistry is placed within us for a reason, although it's not the only factor that people should hook up, Love is also not a feeling, Love is an action and something that is learnt through the process of getting to know someone. Chemistry is a feeling, hence the reason I say it is not enough, yet it can sometimes help in the connection. I honestly don’t believe that opposites attract, the world believes that. It is not a kingdom belief; in the kingdom of God, we believe in multiplication and addition this is also relevant to relationships. Two people coming together come to add value to each other, to enhance each other’s ability. To assist each other to grow and flourish, to advance each other and nurture each other and as the two become one to add value in the surroundings where they are both planted. Where God places them, they become a blessing to each other and that blessing flows over to others. Matthew 6:33 says that we should seek the kingdom of God first, when we pursue righteousness, we are seeking the kingdom of God first. And everything will be added unto you,

1 Corinthians 6:18 says again flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

I don’t think Christians should date, to say “date” puts a pressure on the relationship. There becomes a certain expectation of what the relationship will need and when that expectation is not me it can put one in a position to act out of impulse, causing the two to find themselves in a compromising position. Rather become friends, there is no demand on friendship, and it gives the freedom and the time to realize where the friendship is going, without the pressure. You can take a gage on the friendship. It is also important not to stay in friend zone and leave it there, I honestly believe that a man and woman know exactly what they both want before wanting it. Becoming friends is a nice way to start. When you become a friend to the opposite sex you get to see what you want, how you want it, why you want it and if the relationship can work. During this time of friend zoning, you get to meet the real person, you get to know the person with no pressure of everything else that goes with it. The French kiss is the same as sex it is just as deep and just as intimate, it leads to the other acts of unrighteousness. Kiss on the day you marry, after all you have the rest of your life to learn and experience each other without leaving any doors of regret open. With all that I have spoken, when you see the friendship heading to a relationship, marry immediately and date in the marriage. Do date nights, get to know each other, and skip the dating before marriage. When you marry first then get to know the person on an intimate level it changes the game, remember you already made friendship, so you have already learnt the person, getting to know each other has already happened. So why date?

This is my opinion after being in multiple relationships in my past life before Christ, after having many kids and after giving my life to Christ, I have learnt much in dating, much in friendships. The word is true that the old will teach the young, and who better to learn from. I have entered many friendships with male friends during my Christian walk, praying into and seeking direction from God. My word, there was never a reason to speak my intention for the friendship but as I practiced and learned, this method it has taught me a unique method of protecting my heart, having full view of whether the relationship suited myself. I am six years single and loving every moment of learning the opposite sex through friendship. I have lost nothing instead I have gained and understood what is for me and what is not for me, it has been quite a transforming experience to learn new things in a new way, if God permits the friendship, trust the process and let God give you the guidance and understanding you will need. It is God that brings people together and if the relationship is for you, it will be God putting you together in His special way. Learn to trust that God wants the best for you, I pray that you will be comforted in your singleness,

that you will be complete in your singleness, that God grace is sufficient for you and that you never compromise whilst waiting on God for all that the has for you.

The Shulamite